Test(s)

I've had a lot of tests lately: CT's, MRI's, PET scans, Gallium scans, EMG, Echocardiogram, ultrasounds, muscle biopsies, a pulmonary function, a lymph node biopsy, and even a colonoscopy. I won't even get in to all of the blood tests that have been done.

My favorite? The Gallium scan.
It's a four-day long scan. Thee first day, all I had to do was get an injection--radioactive gallium citrate was injected into a vein in my arm, and I went home. For the next three days, I returned at the same time every day, and was scanned--6 different sections of my body...one section at a time. After my head and neck were scanned, I was able to move my head---so I could turn and watch the images form on the computer as I was being scanned. It may have been the neatest thing I have ever seen---the computer screen would fill up with tons of white little dots, and--as the scan progressed, the dots would come together to form an image of the section of my body being scanned. I felt like the kid on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory that got blown into little dots and transferred in to the television.

My least favorite? The muscle biopsy in my leg.
I was awake for this procedure. And naked. I'll never understand why, when a procedure requires no access to one's upper-half, a bra cannot be left on. But, regardless, the main point was I was awake. A sheet was placed in front of my face so I couldn't see what was going on--and I had a nurse whose sole purpose seemed to be to wipe my tears. They had a great deal of difficulty numbing my leg properly, which resulting in my ability to feel the incision being made. I also felt them cut into my quad muscle--it felt like a chainsaw pulling my leg apart. Not to mention, the nerve damage that was done to my leg---I still have no feeling in anything to the right of the incision.

Sometimes I think I am lucky. I, at 24, have had the opportunity to see inside of my own body. I know what my organs look like, and how my heart looks when it beats. I know that I do not have AIDS, or West Nile. My liver is healthy.

At the same time, I also know that my lungs are scarring on the inside. My vitamin-B levels are that of an 80 year-old person with severe GI problems. I have diffusion problems in regards to oxygen distribution throughout my body. Sometimes I just want to cry.
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With all that is going on with my health, it has become increasingly difficulty to give a shit about anything else around me. For instance, my boss made me furious yesterday. I came home from work furious--and within a matter of minutes, found myself exhausted from going on and on about his insane amount of crap. But, I digress---In 4 months, this job is over...and I do not have to worry about him again.

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Today, my ID doctor put me on Marinol--an FDA approved man-made THC...aka man-made pot. She's hoping it will give me a severe case of the munchies--and I'll eat my way back to a normal weight. Which would be great, if I didn't have to deal with my university canceling my insurance every semester. So, I have to wait a few weeks until they correct the problem--at which point, I'll be able to afford the prescription.

Until then, I will continue to do what I do. Which is sit. I haven't the energy for much else.