Case(s) of the sads?

Could it be? Could it be that I have fallen prey to post-wedding sads? Or, perhaps, the wedding planning blocked my already existing sads, and without said wedding planning, the sads are more obvious? Well...whatever it is, it sucks.

I'm sad about lots, and being sad makes me sad. Vicious cycle, no? For starters, I'm not better. I'm just not. But, at the same time, I'm so used to it. I wake up tired--even if I "sleep" for 12 hours. Not only do I wake up tired, but I wake up sore. My muscles hurt all over---but, well, I just never do anything. And? I'm used to it. Feeling like ass has become my new normal--I just don't think I'd know what it felt like to have a normal day, even if it smacked me in the face.

We're moving soon, too. That scares me. I've never lived more than two hours away from home--and I've never lived out of this fine state of Ohio. This move is big. Well, big for me anyways. This move means a new state, new people, new life. On principle, I am more than okay with this. But, it scares me. I won't have a job. That also scares me. And makes me sad.

My hair started to fall out again. The past summer, I started to notice my hair coming out in clumps in the shower; it would nearly clog the drain every. single. time. (would you be grossed out if I said I collected the hair, so I could see how much I was actually losing? well, I did.). I started using Nioxin (a special shampoo for hair loss), and my bald spots (I had two on either side of my forehead) started to fill back in right before the wedding--the "baby hair" was very obvious. And now? It's coming right back out. Well, it was fun while it lasted.

The other night, I had a shooting pain in my neck at the site of my incision. Honestly, it was the only pain I've had in my neck since the surgery--I was so shocked. But, every 20 seconds or so, I'd get a sharp, killer pain in my neck. Oddly enough, it has just returned. The incision itself has healed wonderfully; I don't notice it half the time (even though it's a bit bumpy, so I can't help but touch it). But the new random pain? I could do without it.

And I have constant lower back pain.

I'll stop whining now. I see my internist this Friday, and depending on what he says--I may be back to whine some more.

I just hope the sads don't stick around too long.